Reds

The Baker Family in Cincinnati, OH

Bjork Yorke vs Michel Lotito (and how we almost got shot)

Here's a Story For the Kids

by C.S. Baker

A family of five [or five thousand] goes out for a dinner picnic on Memorial Day weekend, the fourth Sabbath of May, 2009. As they eat in the fenced-in field, Mr. and Mrs. Baker and their three children consider and meditate on the events of the previous week. Night falls and the fields surrounding the family begin to glow by the rear portions of thousands of lightning night creatures. After reflecting on the beauty of the situation, the satisfied-by-decadization group of five reclimb the gate and return to their van. Feeling pleasant and ready to return to their chambers for a much needed nights sleep, they drive back to their Motel six to relax and enjoy the rest of the evening.

They parked in their old space - - - - - taking up 5 spots with the trailor and Chevy Suburban **under the lights**, at the front of the motel, as Mr. Baker was especially worried about the van getting broken into. Having this parking space gave the family comfort and calmed the nerves of the patriarch. The van doors opened.

POP! POP!!

gunshots

50 feet away.

Close enough to see. Close enough for their ears to ring.

And then the curses came down. They came from the mouths of the family, from the mouths of people a hundred yards away, from the mouths of dark clouds surrounding the cheap motel.

A gray cadillac with 20 inch rims and blacked-out windows screamed out: 8 feet, 7 feet, 6 feet, 5 feet away from the family.

GET ON THE GROUND

Ben was on top of it. Stuart was frozen. Liz was frozen. Dave was already out of the car face-down behind the bunker-like hill beside the van. Nathan follwed the orders of his new brother.

4 feet, 3 feet away.

The shooter's car was there. Radiating death and threatening the five with the six, the seven, the eight rounds left in the gun. And Mr. and Mrs. Baker were kissing the asphault and the Suburban tires just in time.

STAY ON THE GROUND

The words tore and dripped like fire and Myhrr with a serious cool collectedness from Ben's throat.

Seconds after the dark car and pursuing motorcyle had passed the family, the five stood. After cursing the situation, they walked in a cool panic to the McDonalds across the street. Another group. Ten girls, probably a volleyball or softball team, passed by the family--guessing at the shots. The five's morbidly abridged testimony quickend the pace of the softball team and hieghtened their sensitivity to their surroundings. Turning around and walking backwards, family eyes saw a group of rough men gathering around the Suburban.

Were they the shooters? Did they need to eliminate the five whitnesses to the shots? Did they think the family had shot? Either way, McDonalds promised the safety of an INTERPOL headquaters. Walked turned to run as fearful assumptions terrorized the five's brains.

CALL 911

The McDonalds cashier did it for them. Ben, with a calming wisdom, suggested Nathan, Liz, and David stay at the fast food haven while he and Stuart walk around to calm his friends nerves.

I NEED A CIGARETTE

It was deserved.

The cops arrived. The Firetruck arrived. The family reconviened. The parking lot at the motel accross the street was full of police cars. It seemed safe. They walked back. Talked to the policemen. Nathan and Stuart got a refund at the front desk then went back to the room to pack up.

A man in a biker gang had shot another biker's Harley. Twice. Trying to blow up the gas tank. Right next to room 138, where the Baker Family was staying. If the family had arrived as little as 10 seconds earlier, the five could have been right between the shooter and his target.

FREE MOTEL ROOM

They stayed the night at Motel 6. Right next to the society of bikers.

His Majesty, The Skull

This concludes the first week of the tour///a week that was one of the most encouraging and exciting of my life///Ben's presence is therapeutic and inspiring///Homelessness and joblessness left me pockets-full and more satisfied than ever before///We're treating ourselves to a hotel tonight///showers, clean clothes, pool, cable, wi-fi, beds, possibly a weight room///
Stuart

Proof that Ben is part Wizard

SHAWning

Last night (Thursday), The Baker Family Band performed simultaneously with about 100 other bands in Nashville, TN. Our venue happened to be called The Basement (not in a basement). We opened for the other two bands on the bill (Madi Diaz and The Champion and his Burning Flame). A few points of interest:



-An old woman born somewhere in the Far East was standing outside her house beside the empty lot in which we parked our trailer. She had cultivated every square foot of her yard that was not occupied by sidewalk. She was burning a pile of wood when we arrived, and was spreading out the ashes as we were preparing to play.



-After setting up the stage, Stu, Liz, Nathan, and Dave went upstairs to a (reportedly) awesome record store. I ate a lot of bread and played hackey sack. We convened around 9:30 for the opening ceremonies.


-The show was probably our most emotional so far. We donned fake moustaches on entering the stage- we wanted to take the music seriously, but not so much ourselves. It's not walking away with a bunch of fans impressed at Stu's guitar playing and Liz's singing. It's simply playing with no fear, filling up the venue (for 40 minutes, at least) with a warm love. We’ve posted the audio thanks to Dave’s portable recorder. Those songs are, for me and Stu, the first live recordings we have listened to without cringing at the difference between how we thought we sounded and how it actually sounded. The entire band blasted the two songs in the car and was happy for everything: the mistakes, the noise, but especially the energy and improvisation. We’re excited and more than ready for the rest of the tour.


LIVE IN NASHVILLE:
www.soundclick.com/thebakerfamily


-Ben

the man upstairs

Liz left out some pretty crucial information about Chattanooga the other night. We have already met lots of very interesting people, but the top of the list has to go to a guy we met from Chattanooga.
I don't know his name, but he was very touchy-feely. He shook our hands and gave us hugs, and at one point punched each of us (other than Liz) on the shoulder pretty hard.
He was really drunk when we got to the bar, and after just a few minutes came over and talked to us. I told him we're from out of town and wanted to know where we should go with our time, and all the sudden he was offering to let us stay in an apartment he owned right above the bar.
He took us up and gave us a tour. There was no doorknob - only a deadbolt on the door, and it was really tight against the floor, so after he unlocked it, he had to kick the door real hard to get in. There was junk all over the place - open paint cans, pieces of wood, and some bikes that hadn't been ridden in years.
He was really particular about flushing the toilet. It would break if you flushed it all the way, so you had to kind of ease into the flush. The water has to trickle for a while before you can really let loose with the handle and let the water flood in. He kept going on about this for quite a while.
After the tour, he had to get the door locked back up. You have to grab on to a spot on the door and yank it back closed, but he tried about five times without any luck. Finally he spit on the ground, and somehow that actually worked.
I was really looking forward to staying there that night but luckily Liz and Nathan were really creeped out by this guy. We ended up finding another place to stay that was much less exciting, but I'm pretty glad we met that guy.

- David Baker

Oh, Memphis

Last night at The Buccaneer Lounge in Memphis, TN, we played our best show yet. Ben spilled 2 beers (mine and Nathan's), broke 2 E strings (and re-stringed them), got his guitar unplugged 5 times in one song, lost power to his pedal board once, and played the most beautiful set he's ever played as a part of this Family. We are so proud of him and overjoyed at his creative input. Stuart learned how to play the violin during the car ride to Memphis, then threw down some raw electric violin during Clouds of Fire, while Ben added all kinds of effects and distortion. It was epic. After the show, we headed over to the Poor & Hungry, another bar in Memphis. This really cool band, called The Warbles, was playing. They were brilliant: drum machine, saxophone, violin, face paint, and a song about Cicadas. It was refreshing and inspiring. Check 'em out www.myspace.com/thewarbles

Many thanks to Jensel and the whole Garcia family for taking us in, feeding us, and being wonderful, giving people. I can't tell you how nice it was to swim in their pool and relax in their hot tub after our show. We are soaking up Tennessee like a sponge. Here we come, Nashville. What will you show us?

Alive and Well,

Liz Baker

Chattanooga

First of all:


Here's a link to a nice little article written about us for our Knoxville show.


http://www.thedailytimes.com/article/20090514/ENT/305149957





Chattanooga is a cool place. Ben, Dave, and I took a long stroll through the city, chased down a shuttle bus, and walked across one of the main bridges. The Tennessee River water was dark and sparkly, the riverboats were beautifully lit up, and the weather was perfect. We enjoyed playing for some Chattanoogs at JJ's Bohemia last night. Friendly people. Cheap beer. Loud music. Good times.






Living the Dream,

Liz Baker

Brother Son Mother Father

Welcome to the official Baker Family "We're Going To Make So Much Money" 2009 Summer Tour! It's the whole family: Mr. Baker, Mrs. Baker, David, Nathan, and our newest addition to the family, Ben.

It's Day 2 of our 6 week tour through the Midwest and East Coast of this beautiful country. We had our first show last night at the Preservation Pub in Knoxville, TN. Stu's Aunt Becky, Uncle Bud, and Cousin Ryan came out to see us, and even let the 5 of us crash at their place for the night.

Ryan took us to the Norris Damn and we took a little hike to see some waterfalls and butterflies before we hit the road for Chattanooga.

Ben and Stu did a West Andersonville Squirrel Broadcast, announcing some missing walnuts were found last night uner a bush next to the big oak tree, and to please call in immediately to claim your missing walnuts. Updates on the Nutball game between The Nut-Gathering Nutters and rival team Sqirrely Squirel-Face were given. What a close game, folks.

Until Later,

Liz Baker