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Thursday, May 21, 2009

the man upstairs

Liz left out some pretty crucial information about Chattanooga the other night. We have already met lots of very interesting people, but the top of the list has to go to a guy we met from Chattanooga.
I don't know his name, but he was very touchy-feely. He shook our hands and gave us hugs, and at one point punched each of us (other than Liz) on the shoulder pretty hard.
He was really drunk when we got to the bar, and after just a few minutes came over and talked to us. I told him we're from out of town and wanted to know where we should go with our time, and all the sudden he was offering to let us stay in an apartment he owned right above the bar.
He took us up and gave us a tour. There was no doorknob - only a deadbolt on the door, and it was really tight against the floor, so after he unlocked it, he had to kick the door real hard to get in. There was junk all over the place - open paint cans, pieces of wood, and some bikes that hadn't been ridden in years.
He was really particular about flushing the toilet. It would break if you flushed it all the way, so you had to kind of ease into the flush. The water has to trickle for a while before you can really let loose with the handle and let the water flood in. He kept going on about this for quite a while.
After the tour, he had to get the door locked back up. You have to grab on to a spot on the door and yank it back closed, but he tried about five times without any luck. Finally he spit on the ground, and somehow that actually worked.
I was really looking forward to staying there that night but luckily Liz and Nathan were really creeped out by this guy. We ended up finding another place to stay that was much less exciting, but I'm pretty glad we met that guy.

- David Baker

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